In this case, my “concern” was bad homilies. And my friend Joan tipped me off to a blog post that put into words I’m sure many people have thought about:

GUIDE TO BAD HOMILIES

I’d like some input from our readers to help identify the features of what makes a bad homiliy. This way, next time you hear a bad homily, you can say, “Oh, that was a #3 on the Official Guide”.

So, here are some features I’ve identified so far …

1. JESUS WAS NICE – YOU BE NICE TOO

This is the homiliy we usually hear in our suburban parishes. Love = quiescene / Fighting for what you love = evil. If this theme describes what you’re hearing … it might be a bad homily.

2. WWW.HOMILIES-R-US.COM

Beware of homilies that start with anecdotes about cute crap. “A boy at camp whose mother sent him cookies …” “There was a woman who found she had a terminal illness …” Anything with a Reader’s Digest flavor to it is probably from www.homilies-r-us.com, which is what I call the clearing house for shallow thinking sermons that fit easily into a template. If your priest sounds like he’s beginning his talk with a canned anecdote … it might be a bad homily.

3. DON’T GET IT WRONG, BUT DON’T GET IT RIGHT ENOUGH. This is very common. The priest doesn’t say anything wrong or heretical per se, but he makes a huge implication about the nature of the Faith in what he leaves out of his homily, in what he does not say.

So, for example, if speaking on Our Lord’s commission to the apostles at the end of the Gospel of John (“Feed my sheep” “Someone will lead you, Peter, where you do not want to go”), a bad homilist will focus on how important it is that we must care for the poor, and leave it at that. True enough, but what about Our Lord’s promise to Peter that in feeding his sheep and tending his flock he will be persecuted? There’s an edge to this reading that a bad homilist will always cut away, giving us the gelded interpretation.

This is akin to discussing “King Lear” and saying, “a daugther should be nice to her father”. Well, true, but that sure leaves a lot out.

If your homilist Doesn’t Get it Wrong, but Doesn’t Get it Right Enough … it might be a bad homily.

4. SHECKY GREEN PRESENTS

If your homilist tells more jokes than Heny Youngman with a fiddle … it might be a bad homily.

5. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME

A quote from a homily I once heard: “My mother suffered. My grandmother suffered. My grandmother made my mother suffer. My father suffered. My father made my grandmother suffer. My grandmother made my father and my mother suffer. Our house was filled with suffering.” Note to homilist: we are not your therapists, and that’s way too much personal information.

The corrolary to “It’s All about Me” is “It’s All about the Musicians”. And we all know what that message sounds like.

So, if your priest or deacon sees the Gospel as a Rorschach of his dysfunctional background … it might be a bad homily.

6. SLOWNESS = PIETY

This infects all of the liturgy and not just the homily. It’s the mistaken attitude that going … really … slowly … means you’re being … really … pious.

If the homily and the Lord’s Prayer both take the same amount of time, 40 to 45 minutes each … it might be a bad homily.

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